They all want cake. I mean Monk dvd . They all want Monk Seasons 1-8 DVD Boxset. Too bad they won't get anymore. The long-running series ended forever last night, earning a record-breaking 9.4 million viewers. Which is more than any other show in basic cable history has ever had. So good for everyone. I'm just glad that Tony Shalhoub can't win any more g.d. Emmys. Well, I guess he could win one more. Oh man, he's gonna win another one, isn't he? Monk Seasons 1-8 DVD Boxset

Our fearles leader, the most honorable and righteous CBS network, is planning to make a new television series based on a book that hasn't come out yet. Yeah. At least it's by James Patterson, who's a proven bookstore box-office draw. Plus we all remember how well his Women's Murder Club series did. Oh. Oh right. Hm. Anyway, Private is about a private detective. Thrilling. Monk Seasons 1-8 DVD

Laura Leighton has found work on another sleazy TV series, only this time she's playing a responsible mom-type. She's just signed on to the pilot of Pretty Little Liars, a show about pretty little liars based on the teen book series. Joining Leighton will be the lady-named Alexis Denisof, who will be playing a dad-type. Hopefully not as woodenly as he's been playing a politician-type on Dollhouse recently.

The woman who wrote that quickly-defunct Jimmy Smits series Cane has been tapped to write a pilot for TNT's planned Dallas update. Yes, Dallas! We all thought it was going to be a movie with a big fat sad John Travolta and maybe J-Lo. But we were wrong. It's going to TV. Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray, and Larry Hagman have already been approached to reprise their roles. This is big. Ten gallon big. Monk Seasons

Yay/Squirm. Alby's totally getting a boyfriend on Big Love this season. I'm excited, but also nervous. I mean, it's Alby. Monk series 1-8 DVD Boxset

Adam Lambert, that kid at the party who makes an ass of himself just so people will turn and pay attention to him, will perform on the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance, Well I'm Sorry, But Only One of You Can. In an effort to outdo his American Music Awards performance, in which he shot Andy Warhol and got a back-up dancer pregnant, he plans to finally remove his skin-suit to reveal that he is, in fact, king of the Lizard People. Monk Seasons 1-8

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